Wednesday 1 April 2009

"Well, well! who knows what may happen?" said Mr. Lloyd, as he got up. "The child ought to have change of air and scene," he added, speaking to himself; "nerves not in a good state."  Bessie now returned; at the same moment the carriage was heard rolling up the gravel-walk.  "Is that your mistress, nurse?" asked Mr. Lloyd.  "I should like to speak to her before I go."  Bessie invited him to walk into the breakfast-room, and led the way out. In the interview which followed between him and Mrs. Reed, I presume, from after-occurrences, that the apothecary ventured to recommend my being sent to school; and the recommendation was no doubt readily enough adopted; for as Abbot said, in discussing the subject with Bessie when both sat sewing in the nursery one night, after I was in bed, and, as they thought, asleep, "Missis was, she dared say, glad enough to get rid of such a tiresome, ill-conditioned child, who always looked as if she were watching everybody, and scheming plots underhand."  Abbot, I think, gave me credit for being a sort of infantine Guy Fawkes.  On that same occasion I learned, for the first time, from Miss Abbot's communications to Bessie, that my father had been a poor clergyman; that my mother had married him against the wishes of her friends, who considered the match beneath her; that my grandfather Reed was so irritated at her disobedience, he cut her off without a shilling; that after my mother and father had been married a year, the latter caught the typhus fever while visiting among the poor of a large manufacturing town where his curacy was situated, and where that disease was then prevalent: that my mother took the infection from him, and both died within a month of each other.  Bessie, when she heard this narrative, sighed and said, "Poor Miss Jane is to be pitied, too, Abbot."  "Yes," responded Abbot; "if she were a nice, pretty child, one might compassionate her forlornness; but one really cannot care for such a little toad as that."  "Not a great deal, to be sure," agreed Bessie: "at any rate, a beauty like Miss Georgiana would be more moving in the same condition."  "Yes, I doat on Miss Georgiana!" cried the fervent Abbot.  "Little darling!--with her long curls and her blue eyes, and such a sweet colour as she has; just as if she were painted!--Bessie, I could fancy a Welsh rabbit for supper."  "So could I--with a roast onion.  Come, we'll go down."  They went.

2 comments:

  1. I will be turning 58 the end of this coming August. I just made it through a nasty year of fighting breast cancer. The fight, honestly, was most difficult because I knew the truth -- that I felt I had been offered a legitimate doorway out of this life. I felt I was being dishonest fighting to stay here. But here I am. That thing called courage, again.

    It helps for me to understand 'what ails me' in a brighter light and in a bigger picture. It helps me then that I can back off a little bit and realize that there is a ME that is bigger than all that ails me. Sometimes it's like being ready to come out on stage and live my life but I never get past that thick heavy curtain and out where the bright lights are. I'm always just behind it, wondering how other people manage to 'be seen.'

    I hope you write poetry. I say that because I can already see the beauty of the poetry in your writing. You are gifted. As Adrian Monk in the American TV series would say, you have been blessed with a gift and a curse. Have you seen that show? My daughter just sent me the first 6 seasons on DVD.

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  2. It was good that you fought, and not dishonest at all. Those were good realisations that you came to, sounds like they really helped you.
    Thanks, I do very occasionally, but can never write anything I'm happy with. No, I've never seen it but I love getting lots of seasons of shows on dvd at once, the anticipation is always exciting!

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