Wednesday 26 November 2008

My CPN

"Shall I have the pleasure of seeing Miss Fairfax to-night?" I asked, when I had partaken of what she offered me.  "What did you say, my dear?  I am a little deaf," returned the good lady, approaching her ear to my mouth.  I repeated the question more distinctly.  "Miss Fairfax?  Oh, you mean Miss Varens!  Varens is the name of your future pupil."  "Indeed!  Then she is not your daughter?"  "No,--I have no family."  I should have followed up my first inquiry, by asking in what way Miss Varens was connected with her; but I recollected it was not polite to ask too many questions: besides, I was sure to hear in time.  "I am so glad," she continued, as she sat down opposite to me, and took the cat on her knee; "I am so glad you are come; it will be quite pleasant living here now with a companion.  To be sure it is pleasant at any time; for Thornfield is a fine old hall, rather neglected of late years perhaps, but still it is a respectable place; yet you know in winter-time one feels dreary quite alone in the best quarters.  I say alone--Leah is a nice girl to be sure, and John and his wife are very decent people; but then you see they are only servants, and one can't converse with them on terms of equality: one must keep them at due distance, for fear of losing one's authority.  I'm sure last winter (it was a very severe one, if you recollect, and when it did not snow, it rained and blew), not a creature but the butcher and postman came to the house, from November till February; and I really got quite melancholy with sitting night after night alone; I had Leah in to read to me sometimes; but I don't think the poor girl liked the task much: she felt it confining.  In spring and summer one got on better: sunshine and long days make such a difference; and then, just at the commencement of this autumn, little Adela Varens came and her nurse: a child makes a house alive all at once; and now you are here I shall be quite gay."  My heart really warmed to the worthy lady as I heard her talk; and I drew my chair a little nearer to her, and expressed my sincere wish that she might find my company as agreeable as she anticipated.  "But I'll not keep you sitting up late to-night," said she; "it is on the stroke of twelve now, and you have been travelling all day: you must feel tired.  If you have got your feet well warmed, I'll show you your bedroom.  I've had the room next to mine prepared for you; it is only a small apartment, but I thought you would like it better than one of the large front chambers: to be sure they have finer furniture, but they are so dreary and solitary, I never sleep in them myself."

5 comments:

  1. Perhaps you should treat yourself to one of these this Christmas time. That way you can write, and have your hands not be too cold.

    :)

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  2. Pundit - Thanks for the brilliant idea, I really want those now! Definitely a good addition to anyone's Christmas list!

    Seaneen - Thanks! I think he needs it!

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  3. You know what, I was in a serious depression 4 years ago and I used to think that it's no use carrying on. I read a long list of books back then and started blogging and also I got more and more into computers. Then I started learning computer programming and three years later I am a changed person now. I am confident, have a reason to be and most importantly damn proud of the fact that I did it all by myself.
    Life becomes a pleasant experience when we have a reason and meaning for it. That's what I can suggest to you too. Define your life and give a proper meaning to it and if that's journalism to you, then journalism it is!
    I wish you all the best :-)

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  4. I think you're on to the right track there. Thanks for sharing your experiences with depression, it's always really good to hear that people have lifted themselves out of depression and made something good of their life. And hopefully for me that will be journalism!

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